Sweet Revenge

By Abu Nadira

My three girls woke up in the morning to find their chocolates had disappeared from the fridge once again. Gold coins had miraculously appeared in place of the chocolates. They knew immediately who the culprit was. The poor little darlings had been to the shops the previous evening, and having resisted the urge for immediate gratification, had chosen instead to take their treats to school the following day. I locked myself in the toilet before they could turn their wrath on me. The vigorous thumping of three pairs of hands on the toilet door indicated that the limits of their tolerance had been breached. Eventually the furore and recriminations abated. The girls threatened to ‘fix me up’ and went off to school. I put this down to an empty threat and was sure that daddy’s girls would forgive him yet again.

That very evening Zara, the youngest, proudly announced at the dinner table that she had taken the chocolate wrappers to school for ‘show and tell’ as proof that dad had stolen their chocolates. I was mortified to learn that word had spread amongst shocked students and very amused teachers. ‘Whatever would they think of me stealing from my children?’ Well, I was guilty as charged. If this humiliation was the ‘fix me up’ they had threatened, then I could live with it. It was a small price to pay for the immense pleasure I had derived. Stolen chocolates tasted so much better, apart from the joy of deriving such an unexpected windfall.

Anyway, after some time had passed and the drama of the incident faded, Jameela, the eldest one, returned from school one day and informed us that her Chinese teacher had chosen her to represent the school at a competition. I thought that it would be a small competition with only a few schools involved. After all, she was only eleven years old and in grade five. For the next two weeks she diligently practised her speech in spite of teasing and mimicking from her sisters. When I asked what her speech was about, she said it involved saying a few things on her family and refused to divulge any further information. Mum and the girls had that knowing look of conspiracy. Eventually I gave up asking and accepted her decision to reveal the contents of the speech after the competition.

On the morning of the big day I was surprised to learn that the competition was being held at the Griffith University, and that it had been organised by the Chinese Embassy. This was much bigger than I had thought. I was amazed at the number of participants and the size of the audience. I felt apprehensive on Jameela’s behalf and tried to suppress my anxiety. How would she cope with this kind of pressure? The vast majority of the participants were of Chinese origin. The one consolation was that the competition had been divided into different age categories.

Soon it was Jameela’s turn. I said a silent prayer. She looked confident and her delivery appeared to be flawless, judging by her teacher’s very pleased expression. At one point in her speech everyone burst out laughing and turned around to look at me. I was so pleased that she had included a joke in her speech. ‘That’s my girl!’ I thought, as I looked around with a big smile while enjoying the attention. I was basking in the glory, even though I didn’t know what the joke was about. I was so proud!

When the results were announced I was so happy that she had placed second. After the prizes were awarded and many pictures taken of Jameela with her family and teacher, I finally asked about her speech, especially eager to know what had evoked so much laughter. With a smug look, and sniggering from her sisters, she replied that she had related a few things about each member of her family. ‘What was my part and what was the big joke’, I enquired. ‘All I said was: My dad has a very big fat nose because he steals our chocolates’, she replied with feigned innocence. I was stunned. ‘How could you say that to so many people, especially at such an important event?’ ‘Dad, you do have a big nose and everyone can see that, and the chocolates make it look even bigger and fatter.’

This was her revenge. I never stole a chocolate again. Worse still was the lifelong complex I developed over my supposedly big fat nose.

Abu Nadira