A Leopard Can’t Change Its Spots

by Russell Korn

Episode 3
The Chameleon pondered the invitation from the Director General. Meanwhile another opportunity made itself known via the departmental daily message board. This emerged as a call for volunteers interested in revolutionising the day to day business of the department. The process was called ‘The Review’. This indeed became an opportunity for The Chameleon, but not as anticipated.
It came in the form of a woman. She was a short, plump, middle aged woman. ‘Cudgee’ as The Chameleon called her, reminded him of a character from a children’s program. ‘Cudgee Bear’ was a five foot tall koala that spoke in a high pitched, child like voice. Cudgee also looked like his first girlfriend in primary school. All those years ago, his mother asked him to show her the girl who he had spoken so highly of. He pointed to a short, plump girl with carroty orange, frizzy hair, white skin and a proliferation of freckles. The Chameleon’s mother, being somewhat taken back by the girl’s appearance, asked him what he liked about this girl. The Chameleon replied proudly “She’s really smart and good at maths”. To him it was a case of ‘Hey what’s not to like’.
In Cudgee’s case, it was her turn of phrase and her literary knowledge that impressed him and her sense of humour was complete – not dissimilar to his own. She didn’t quite understand The Chameleon’s rhetorical question “Are you good at maths” - that explanation would come later.
During the week of ‘The Review’, the facilitators were always trying to separate them. Akin to naughty children, they always found a way to be together. A trust developed between the two as their relationship was extended. Cudgee had already divulged that she was one of ‘the gang of three’ who processed the enquiries on the Director General’s ‘Review’. Simple enquiries were answered by the panel or referred to the appropriate staff member within the department. However the more complex enquiries were referred to experts, even if that meant going outside of the department. Such was the case with The Chameleon.
By day three of their encounter The Chameleon questioned Cudgee as to the identity of the mysterious Chameleon. “So what do you make of this Chameleon guy – assuming it’s a guy?’ Cudgee’s response was clinical as usual.
“He definitely presents as male but then again, it could be anyone... he works somewhere in the upper floors of head office.”
The Chameleon thought “So much for the anonymity of ‘The Review’”.
Cudgee continued, “His writing is so intense it just about spontaneously combusts when transferred to paper. He’s not of any of the archetypes and yet is all of them. He can shape-shift into whatever role he deems suitable to his purposes. He is able to effortlessly discern the counterfeit and has distinctly Shaman like qualities. Management is actually scared of this guy.”
In eons past, the reclusive Shaman was held in the highest of esteem. At a birth he would divine the spirit of the newborn and assign them a name.
Cudgee, herself a connoisseur of words expressed appreciation of The Chameleon’s style. She went on to explain that he was highly self-aware, his words were very deliberate, his tag ‘The Chameleon’ being a case in point.
Finally she said “He’s a good writer... why the interest?”
“So you think he’s a good writer?” Cudgee could not help noticing how chuffed he was by her final comment. Then just like in the movies, Cudgee did the mind flips finally speaking out aloud “You’re not... you are, aren’t you”. Many questions later Cudgee asked “Why The Chameleon?” He said decisively “It is to do with upper management in any large organisation – ‘a leopard can’t change its spots’”.
From day one they brought the best out in each other. By day four, The Chameleon and Cudgee were almost inseparable. They knew each other’s thoughts, finished each other’s sentences. They lived precariously on the Light Side of The Lunatic Fringe, knowingly tiptoeing around its edges.